paranoia ( schizophrenic remix )

Tue, Aug 12, 2014 at 10:02 PM By: ebenus supremus

Its like I cant differentiate between reality and delusion
Cant account for my behaviour
It's like Im trapped by confusion
Did I really do and say that shit
Try to make sense but my minds refusing
Still
I hold myself accountable
I must be guilty
No excusing

I gotta accept the consequences even though I weren't in my right mind
The repercussions of insanity
It's like for a while there I was blind
But now I'm seeing clear again
I can't just leave it all behind
Cos Im still responsible
This is life
I cant rewind

Cant even begin to explain myself
It don't make sense to me
There must of been reason
I cant recall what I was trying to achieve
I completely lost the plot
Saw and heard what no one else could see
But now Im thinking straight again
I have to face reality

Not everyone is going to take my state of mind into account
Ive put myself in danger
Lost all control when I skitzed out
Felt staunch when I was crazy
Had no fear
Just went about
Causing all sorts of trouble
No I see clearly
Ive got no clout

Cant even begin to defend myself to those that I attacked
Cant come up with nothing valid to defend my actions
That's a fact
Just gotta face the consequences and try to be mindful of how I act
Try to retain some sense of normality stead of feelin scared and trapped

Gotta stop believing in the delusion
It feels so real
Gotta try and protect myself from adversity
Im flesh and blood not made of steel
Gotta try and make amends with those I hurt in throes of zeal
Gotta count my lucky stars
Struggle through and let wounds heal

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